MOUNT UP, MONTANA, US. Don’t let the scientists fool you – some very bizarre changes are on the way as the sun’s magnetic field does an about-face.
It happens every 11 years. Over the next few months the magnetic field that surrounds the sun will go into a complete reversal; the star’s north and south poles will swap places.
Solar scientists have assured the world that there is nothing to worry about. This is a natural phenomenon that has no impact on earthly life.
But the reality is very different.
The sun’s magnetic field encompasses the solar system, so the ripple effects of its 180-degree flip are vast.
“You will see some very odd happenings,” said Dr. Felix Squint, a solar scientist with the International Institute for the Study of Solar Strangeness, Mount Up, Montana. “A total reversal of the magnetic pulse polarity triggers behavioral changes on our planet that range from the peculiar to the disturbing,” he said.
The institute has analyzed the fall out and here are some of its main findings.
1. North Korea becomes the world’s leading feel good nation, and Disney builds a Happy People theme park there.
2. Pigeons become totally confused and begin cleaning up the streets and car windows.
3. Cable TV gets cheaper.
4. Congressional Republicans demand to pass a barrel-load of laws.
5. Football fans abandon the game in droves in favor of live cooking shows.
6. The Pope resigns to pursue a career as the world’s first saintly tattooist
6. Americans beg Mexicans to cross the border to live and work in the United States, and Mexico builds a wall to protect its citizens from the harassment.
8. Abandoned shopping carts in supermarket parking lots become aggressive, follow shoppers out of the lots, and block them from entering their driveways.
9. Kate Middleton and Prince William rename baby George, who is now known as Prince North-by-North-West, and invite the Kardashians to take the British throne.
10. Sharks leave coastal waters and head for deep sea after several of them are bitten by bathers.
You have been warned.